What is low self-esteem?

We explain what low self-esteem is, what are its causes, symptoms and characteristics. What is high self-esteem and personality.

1. What is low self-esteem?

When we talk about low self-esteem or lack of self-esteem, we mean a perception of ourselves that prevents us from perceiving ourselves as valuable , talented people or simply having an objective judgment regarding who we are.

Self-esteem is defined as a set of perceptions, evaluations and ideas about ourselves, in which our capacity for self-confidence, self-esteem and our need to be recognized by others, among other aspects of personality, is based.

It is a complex concept, often fluctuating, but whose bases are laid during childhood and adolescence , initially through parental relationship and then with peers.

People with low self-esteems, then, have problems with self-acceptance . This may mean that they are very severe judges of themselves, that they do not respect themselves or that they have too much compassion; In any case, this translates into a particular relationship with others, in which the individual always occupies a lower or submissive place.

Having low self-esteems does not mean, however, that the person acts constantly based on that criterion: people are complex, we have multiple faces and it is not always easy to determine the elements that make up our personality . Nor should low self-esteem be confused with mental illnesses or more complicated mood ailments, such as depression .

2. Causes of low self-esteem

The causes of low self-esteems can be as varied as the life of the individual, but in broad strokes they can be considered the following:

• Crianza . The parenting model during critical stages of childhood and youth can make the difference between high and low self-esteem. Punishing parents who educate their children in a sense of disability can prevent a person from recognizing their own values.
• Traumatic events . It often happens that particularly painful or humiliating events for an individual make a dent in their self-esteem and convince them to be a defective, weak or unworthy individual.
• Phobias . Often irrational fears can influence self-worth and weigh so much on it that they prevent people from appreciating the rest of their personality.
• Social difficulties . The lack of social interaction, or the fear of others, or different forms of social isolation and social anguish, affect the individual’s perception of himself compared to others, whom he thinks are “normal.”
• Other factors . It is possible that psychic or even hormonal diseases affect the emotional functioning of the individual and prevent him from having a healthy self-esteems.

3. Characteristics and symptoms of low self-esteem

It is not simple to describe the symptoms of low self-esteems, since it is not an objective or simple disease. Even so, there are general features that accuse the lack of self-esteems and are:

• Difficulties to say no.
• Live mistakes or defects as something catastrophic and insurmountable.
• Pursue the approval of others constantly.
• Be intolerant of criticism.
• Compulsive desire to please others.
• Exaggerate the triumphs or virtues of others.
• Living with exaggerated fear of being wrong.
• Be shy, insecure or shy away from contact with others.
• Tolerate or accept unworthy or humiliating conditions without protesting or seeking alternatives.
• Live your own triumphs or successes as something ephemeral, incomplete or alien.
• Compensate feelings towards oneself through arrogance, pedantry or arrogance.

4. High self-esteem

Contrary to low self-esteems, high self-esteems is understood as the ability of an individual to evaluate himself in a positive or at least objective way, being able to deal with his defects as such and not as catastrophic events that hide the rest of his personality .

People with high or healthy self-esteems can better deal with their own mistakes , can fight better for their rights or demand what they want from others.

5. Personality

A complex psychological construct is known as personality, which encompasses the set of rational and irrational dynamics that make up our way of behaving .

Personality is a pattern of attitudes, a certain tendency to react in a certain way to certain situations or needs.

This does not mean that it is immovable, but quite the opposite. Personality varies throughout life , although maintaining certain tendencies, depending on the specific way in which we choose to live. But it always throws a certain margin of predictability that is, after all, our “way of being.”